15 Jan January 15, 1945
To Marianne Häpig and Marianne Pünder
Good people, a heartfelt Sunday greeting!
In the normal course of events, I should have been greeting you from the Other Side now. Everything is happening in such a strange way. Everything we do to help matters along ends in disaster. When we expect disaster and are sure it will happen, suddenly it doesn’t. I believe that we are the first who did not go to the Prinz-Albert-Strasse for the trial, but stayed here. And we are apparently the first not to be taken for execution on the same day as the sentencing. This custom now seems to have been generally abandoned, because my other cell neighbor who was condemned the next day, returned as well, even though no appeal had been made.
I no longer quite trust my own decision. Whenever you two have made a suggestion to me, it has proved better than my own opinion. I have therefore written an appeal according to your suggestion and had it delivered yesterday. I certainly took a lot of care with it, but whether anyone can or will read it, I don’t know.
I think that only someone with a Party connection can really do anything. It’s good that I’ve been acquitted on the July 20 conspiracy charge. Our own involvement was called “run-of-the-mill high treason”. I’m attaching a brief sketch of the Moltke discussions, which matters now hinge on, so that someone on the outside knows about it. But caution.
How long I’m going to be sitting here and waiting for the drive to Plötzensee, I don’t know. Will it be days or weeks? Two of the July 20 conspirators have been sitting here for 14 weeks since their trial. I do know that the current phase is part of my life. Whether Plötzensee is part of it, I don’t know. In the natural course of things, I see no other way. But an inner impulse tells me to keep on hoping and praying. That changes nothing in regard to freedom and readiness. Despite the sadness which sometimes comes over me, what predominates is a certain knowledge of decision and freedom.
Naturally, I see no other way. They have no mercy toward a Jesuit. If Moltke is acquitted, perhaps they’ll let me go too. Is someone taking care of the appeal?
Please pass on my recent letters. My friends are now in the know. Besides, I could use their prayers even now, before I go to the other side.
I’m trying very hard to fall into the earth as a good and fertile seed
….The Mass will remain as long as I remain. Give greetings to everyone I know. My gratitude to you, and God’s powerful protection. By the way, I’m not forgetting the two Mariannes…. Actually, during these days I’m experiencing God’s goodness to a great extent.
Your devoted Max
- S. Please be careful with the pages, After the Verdict! If still possible: please, a shoelace; the promised one hasn’t yet come. I don’t know whether I’ll still need it, but if I do, I’d be grateful.
Also, I could do with a few envelopes under the same conditions as before.
And now, please don’t be sad. I’m trying very hard to fall into the earth as a good and fertile seed….